In The Wake Of Vanity

In The Wake Of VanityGoing to sleep without removing my makeup is faux pas. I just don’t do it! Unless I have to, and then there’s a price to pay in the morning, like seeing Rocky Raccoon in the mirror instead of myself. I don’t like worrying about getting it on the pillow either. The worst part is the lack of  routine.

When I was a little girl my mom use to refer to the routine of putting on her makeup as, putting on her face. My young mind was keenly aware she was preparing the face for which she would be showing to the world.

My pendulum can swing when it comes to how I feel about wearing makeup, from judging myself for false representation, to, seeing it as another canvas for the artist.

Now and again, I dismiss its significance, and don’t put it on at all. There’s a price for that too. The next day, I’ll be rubbing my eyes, thinking I’m a non makeup-wearing kind a gal, only to discover, by way of another reflection of Rocky Raccoon, that I am. On those days I’m convinced it’s better to put it on everyday, just in case.

On certain mornings, like today, I realize putting on makeup is not the only preparation I will need in order to face the world, there’s much more to it than that. I am a multifaceted human being who will experience the world in many ways. The world, too, will experience me in several ways. My days require much more than makeup.

A part of me might be close-up and personal to people, while some parts of me will be real tiny, and won’t say much, but will be present nonetheless. Then, there’s the back of me. Why would you be experiencing the back of me? Am I walking away? Is my back a much better match for the world than my face? Maybe I don’t know you, and I merely walk on by.

There are a multitude of ways in which we show up in the world, putting on makeup simply marks the start of each day. Today I am reminded of additional aspects of myself also needing ritualistic preparation, in order to face the world.

Did I sleep well last night, leaving me physically capable of combing the earth with you? Am I at peace with those I say I love? Did I pray this morning, setting the intention to be loving and kind to all?  Countless other essential routines are required to help me navigate through my days, yet don’t require a trip to Sephora.

Here’s what I know – I have gone through trials and tribulations in my lifetime, and the act of putting on my face has never ensured graceful outcomes. Putting on my makeup is fun, and with the right palette, I can make this facial canvas presentable, even pretty. Without the other rituals and routines – I’m lost.

During the darkest times, both literally and figuratively, the last thing that comes to mind is my face. Yet, I will continue to put it on as part of my morning schedule. What I hope to keep in mind are those objectionable traits in me whose main goal is to, only save face.

Each morning, as I face the mirror, I pray I always catch a glimpse of all facets of myself requiring ritual and attention, so that I might become a presentable woman, worth showing to the world.


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