It Takes a Village – PERIOD!


I came across this curbside giveaway on my way to a baby shower today. Most likely, this bassinet was once the star gift at a baby shower; a baby shower for the baby it once cradled. One person’s treasure is another person’s junk. Bassinets and babies are both at the mercy of ours whims, our expectations, and our external forces.

I want to believe, the baby, whose shower I attended today, will experience a childhood filled with love and joy. I’m tempted to think, the baby, whose bassinet was disregarded by the wayside, might have been treated in the same manner as the bassinet. The truth of the matter, is, I might be right, or I might be wrong – on both matters

Plenty of books have been written regarding the experiences and dilemmas of the parent. From Dr. Benjamin Spock’s numerous books on how to parent, to Alice Miller’s plight to redeem parents from American ideals, suggesting the new ideal of the good enough parent. The bottom line, is, we do our best – until there’s interference: a colicky baby, a non-supportive partner, divorce, financial struggles, etc.

Whether from a parental perspective, or that of the child, most of us can attest to the pain and grief that can result from family complications.  It can become difficult to gauge what anyone’s best is, let alone be of sound enough mind to assess actual thriving and well-being of any of its family members.

Kind of a gloomy blog for it having been such a wonderful day of celebrating life, I know. But I’m a Sagittarius; we rarely negotiate our truth-seeking aspirations in order to please the crowd. People! A baby cradle with all the fixings still inside was on the sidewalk! Sure, it was nice of the person to leave it out as a freebie for some impoverished mother-to-be. OK, it was probably a matter of convenience rather than charity. Hands up everybody, we’ve all done it.

I’m trying to get across our need to exam the demise of the family unit. What I observed today appeared to be the perfect imagery needed to segue my blog into this topic. But all is not lost. I’m an optimistic; another admirable trait of the Sagittarius.

OK, here goes … IT DOES TAKE A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD! Mind you, I almost never use all caps to get a message across. We need to stop referring to this statement as cliché, and, truly find ways we can support one another in raising our children. If you see another parent come up short, refrain from judging, and stand up tall. Don’t worry, your day in the barrel will come, and someone will need to stand up tall, where you fall short.

I’m not perfect – just ask my ex-husband. In fact, we go to family court the first week of February. Custody issues. I write this blog in a state of parental desperation. I need and desire the assistance of my community members. Help me, and my ex-husband raise our kids. Help keep us accountable. And we will do the same for you.

It’s not all bad, this child-rearing deal. There are quality parents out there, and healthy, well balanced kids being raised. But there’s not enough. Not nearly enough. We need the norm to be good enough parenting, with some kick-ass community support.

This blog goes out to all parents who struggle, and the children who have paid the price. A bigger prayer goes out to us all – parents and children, that we might discover a new groove, and become a village who cradle and love our children and parents.


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